Kerlerec Kottage

Maximum Occupancy: 6 Weary Travels Who Crave the Luxury of a Real Bed: 

We welcome groups up to six people - but we also rent the house as a one-bedroom (max occupancy 2 adults); a two-bedroom (max occupancy 4 adults) or as a three-bedroom (max occupancy 6 adults).*

We’ve got 3 bedrooms, each outfitted with a Christopher Knight™ Aloe Vera–infused mattress and 1,000 thread-count sheets—not a pull-out, fold-up, or air-filled excuse for sleep in sight. That’s two humans per room, perfect for couples, besties, or one highly evolved introvert who requires a locking door and silence.

Absolutely no couch surfers, floor nesters, or “I’ll-just-crash-here” freestylers. The fainting couch is reserved strictly for Victorian-style pearl clutching or wistful daydreams about jazz legends. 

You see, folks, legend has it that back in yesteryear, the STR-hating New Orleans City Council—tired, overcaffeinated, and allergic to joy—issued a solemn decree: “No sleep-seeking sojourner shall rest upon a chaise, divan, or soft surface not legally designated a ‘bed,’ lest the city’s Bureau of No Fun send forth their minions brandishing clipboards and passive-aggressive legislation.” And so, bound by this historic (and legally binding) decree—our STR permit—we must fiercely defend the six-guest limit: six people, three actual beds, zero nonsense.

* (If rented as a one-bedroom or as a two-bedroom the other bedrooms remain locked and vacant during your stay.)

There sure is!  We’ve got a gated and locked carport with your name on it (not literally, but Satchmo would approve). It fits one vehicle—ideal for your chic compact or boldly optimistic SUV. And if you're bringing the whole band? There's plenty of free street parking right out front. No meters, alternate-side voodoo, and no need to pay a drummer to hold your spot. Just pull up, park, and cue the soundtrack—because it’s a wonderful world when you don’t have to parallel park under pressure. Just park it, lock it, and forget it. You won’t need it—we're an easy walk to the French Quarter, and everything worth seeing is a short stroll, streetcar ride or cheap Uber ride away. 

Oh, bless your savvy little heart! Yes, you absolutely can. In fact, that’s what this website is for! 

Did you know Airbnb and VRBO charge you up to 16% in extra fees? For … what, exactly? They don’t own the house, clean the house, furnish the house, or help you find late-night po’boys. They do offer “customer service,” which these days usually means that, in some kombucha-scented corner of Silicon Valley, a room full of 24-year-olds holding emotional support succulents are attending an all-hands synergy meeting to brainstorm ways to maximize passive profit engagement funnels  (which is corporate-speak for charging more for doing less). 

When you book directly with us at Kerlerec Kottage, you skip the nonsense, save a big chunk of change (seriously, like hundreds of dollars), and deal with one actual human who owns the house and knows where to find the best beignets. No fees. No ping-ponging policies. Just Southern hospitality, straight from the source. 

Click on “Book Direct” now and use that saved money on cocktails, crab cakes, and questionable souvenir decisions.)

Inside the house? Absolutely not. That includes cigarettes, vapes, incense, sage smudging, ceremonial pipes, Kinnikinnick (Google it!) or whatever new thing they’re puffing on in Brooklyn this week. But feel free to step onto the covered side porch or back deck and commune with your puff snacks spirits out there.  Ashtrays and good vibes provided.  ("Puff Snacks Spirits" would be a great band name, by the way - you're welcome!).  

Sadly we cannot welcome animals  — Not Even Fancy Ones and Insta Famous Beasts. No dogs, cats, snakes, llamas, emotional support peacocks, “non-shedding” doodles, “allergen-free” unicorns, or any other furry, feathery, scaly, or emotional companion. 

Sorry - only registered guests are allowed. That means no Weddings, no spiritual drum circles,  no birthday brunches for your cousin’s au pair, no inviting your Uber driver in to show him “this cute vacation rental we found,” [this one has actually happened]. No exceptions for old flames, new flings, traveling salespeople, or anyone who goes by a single name and accepts Venmo.  [Because someone on the City Council once had a dream... and now it’s law]

We love kids… at parks, petting zoos, and other people’s houses. But here? This is not a child-friendly home. It’s a hot-water-having, stair rail-lacking, window-unguarded tribute to adult freedom and design choices that embrace easy access to electrical outlets. If you’ve got anyone under 13 in tow, we lovingly suggest you pick a child-friendly listing. This house is more “leisurely adult retreat with vintage wine served in varietal-correct stemware” and less “juice-box rave for pint-sized party animals with jam hands."  

Oh honey, put that grocery list down and back away from the Piggly Wiggly. Seriously—don’t panic buy before you get here. We stock the essentials and then some: fresh coffee, creamer, tea, spices, olive oil, butter, and yes, mountains of ice. (We don’t know why everyone shows up with bags of ice like they’re headed to Coachella, but rest assured—your cubes are covered.)

The kitchen’s fully equipped, there’s enough TP to build a small fort, and the bathroom’s got all the basics: shampoo, conditioner, body wash, and even makeup wipes (our towels thank you for using them). So unless you’re planning on hosting a fondue summit, you’re probably good to settle in, stumble down the street for cocktail, and then shop later for whatever cravings strike.

And honestly—why are you even thinking about cooking? You’re in New Orleans, not Sacramento! You can practically trip and fall into a world-class restaurant. Walk five minutes in any direction and you’ll find gumbo, oysters, beignets, and something deep-fried that’ll change your life. Put down the spatula and pick up a fork, darling.

Why yes, esteemed nomadic professionals—we absolutely do. Whether you're healing the sick, building Oscar-worthy sets, or crushing spreadsheets in a blazer from the waist up and pajama pants from the waist down, Kerlerec Kottage is ready for you.

We welcome mid-term stays up to 60 days, and we even offer sweet, sweet discounts for stays longer than 14 nights. That’s right -- save some cash and enjoy all the comforts of home, minus the commitment, plus the bonus of becoming an honorary New Orleanian for a spell. (Where you’ll learn that the knife stays INSIDE the King Cake box and you’ll cry “FREE SCRIM!” after a few too many cocktails.)

[For mid-term booking rates please email info@kerlereckottage.com instead of using our “book now” tool]